Episode 26: Monday, April 24, 2006

The Paunch Stevenson Show episode 026

In this episode:

  • Silent Hill (2006) starring Radha Mitchell,
  • Midway’s 1994 Aerosmith video game Revolution X,
  • Fever Pitch (2005) starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore,
  • Rosie O’Donnell’s fake crush on Tom Cruise,
  • celebrity deaths (Richard Fleischer and Buck Owens),
  • Charlton Heston,
  • Rocky Balboa Blog (www.rockybalboablog.com),
  • a get-rich-quick scheme (.ocm URL’s),
  • a listener get-rich-quick scheme from Dennis in NC (NASCAR chicken),
  • Born To Run (1993) starring Richard Grieco,
  • What About Bob? the video game,
  • and The Old Jingle of the Episode (Alvin and the Chipmunks theme song).

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11 Replies to “Episode 26: Monday, April 24, 2006”

  1. Hey guys
    After hearing the show today, I’ve compiled a list of video game movies past and present. It seems like this German guy Uwe Boll directs a lot of them like House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, etc. I agree, Hollywood PLEASE STOP with the video game movies.

    Double Dragon
    Street Fighter (with Van Damme as an American GI and Raul Julia as M Bison)
    Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (Rob, I rember falling asleep to this movie at the theater)
    Super Mario Brothers (Dennis Hopper as King Koopa, a giant lizard)
    Tomb Raider
    Tomb Raider II
    House of the Dead (actual video game footage used for film)
    Bloodrayne
    Halo (2007)
    Castlevania (2007)
    Resident Evil I, II and III
    Wing Commander (awful, awful, with Freddie Prinze Jr, he’s on that terrible show before Lost on ABC)
    Postal (w/ Gary Coleman 2007)
    Carmen Sandiego (2007)
    Dungeon Siege (2006)
    Fear Effect (2008)
    Pokemon (although it is a kid’s movie and is probably better than any of the crap listed so far)
    Tekken (2006)
    Alone in the Dark (terrible)
    Spy Hunter (staring The Rock 2007)
    Prince of Persia (2008)
    Metroid (2006)
    Mortal Kombat I and II
    Silent Hill

    With the success of Silent Hill, expect more. I’m hoping for Burger Time, Bayou Billy, Battletoads and Tetris

    Feel free to add the list.

    I’ve almost forgot the TV shows
    Super Mario Brothers Super Hour (Nintendo disowns this show)
    Captain N
    Mega Man
    Sonic

  2. Nice list! I think you made some of those up though…Spy Hunter the movie?

    I could sort of understand games like Castlevania, The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, etc. being turned into movies, although they’d probably end up being poorly written and directed like all the other ones.

    Yes, I remember seeing Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within in the theater with you and Adam and struggling to stay awake. I also remember us going to see the first Tomb Raider movie as a joke and being told to shut up by the old people in front of us because we couldn’t stop making fun of the stupidity that was taking place on-screen.

    I’m looking forward to Madden NFL 06 the movie. “Y’all got Matt’n?”

  3. Rob,
    I’m not making it up, imdb.com has a whole slew of game movies. Apparently Spy Hunter is going to be like Knight Rider with the Rock playing the Hasslehoff role. Don’t know if the car talks though.

    I think Zelda in the right hands could be decent though. However, knowing Hollywood, they would probably cast Stifler as Link. I think Nintendo is pretty strict now about whoring out their licenses unlike Sony. Meaning no more Zelda and Mario cereal or that awful Super Mario Brothers Super Show (that may be the worst show ever!!)

    Almost forgot about Tomb Raider. i just remember this ridiculous speech by Jon Voight about planet aligment,artifacts, and random New Age stupidityand then all of us laughing out loud immediately followed by the people behind us with their 8 kids yelling at us like we were interupting a Broadway play. For them Tomb Raider was probably equivalent to reading War and Peace

  4. With the money you make, we can do a remake or “reimagining” of Resident Evil or my adaptation of Q-bert. Hollywood loves the remakes these days

  5. You can call it Residental Devil: Code Name Violin.

    How about Frogger the movie? Who would play Frogger though? Jean Claude Van Damme?

    The best though would be The Simsthe movie, starring Pauly Shore.

  6. What makes no sense is the long list of Video Game movies based on video games who’s hayday was 15 years ago??????

    Metroid, Castlevania, Spy Hunter, Carmen Sandiego???????

    Those are ancient, nobody cares!

    At least Resident Evil was a little more recent. Mortal Kombat were hideous movies, but the games were popular at the time, so it made sense. Ditto for Super Mario.

  7. Yeah, Spy Hunter seems to be sticking out to me as the most pointless. The original arcade came out in 1983!

    Also pointless to me…

    Fear Effect: a semi-popular Sony PlayStation game released in early 2000 and a sequel released in early 2001, best described as a Resident Evil clone with a Japanese animation look. Overall rating: 8.5 out of 10. Oh well, nobody remembers or cares.

    Dungeon Siege: an action-RPG for computers released in early 2002, with sequels released in late 2003 and mid 2005. Overall rating: 7.9 out of 10. Surely there are more popular computer games to turn into movies, like Alone in the Dark, Dungeons and Dragons, or Doom. Nevermind!

    Carmen Sandiego: a children’s “edutainment” computer game that was very popular…13 years ago. The title of the original game has now turned into a legitimate question. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? And why in the world is this game being turned into a movie?

    I played a really cool video game once called Star Wars. Someone should make a movie out of that!

  8. Coming Friday, August 25, 2006, DOA: Dead or Alive the movie starring Jaime Pressly, Eric Roberts, and a bunch of other people I’ve never heard of. The movie is based on the Dead or Alive series of video games (mainly one-on-one fighting tournaments, similar to Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, VirtuaFighter, etc.).

    Will the movie be better than 1994’s Street Fighter? We’ll see in 17 days.

    Release history:

    October 1997:
    Dead or Alive (Sega Saturn)

    March 1998:
    Dead or Alive (Sony PlayStation)

    March 2000:
    Dead or Alive 2 (Sega Dreamcast)

    October 2000:
    Dead or Alive: Hardcore (Sony PlayStation 2)

    November 2001:
    Dead or Alive 3 (Microsoft Xbox)

    January 2003:
    Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball (Microsoft Xbox)

    October 2004:
    Dead or Alive Ultimate (Microsoft Xbox)
    (old versions of the game, but with online play via Xbox Live).

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